I was recently reading some old back stories on Feministe.us discussing what advice feminists identifying as women might give feminist identifying as males in a relationship, and would love to throw the topic open to my wonderful friends from the real world and the internet on my Tumblr.
Let me begin by acknowledging I come to this discussion as a cis male who has benefited from the privilege that entails. I am also a black man, and as such I have always found certain situations ideologically confronting. For example, when I am walking down a dark street and a someone I presume to be female and white appears to me to be scared, I have in the past taken racial offence to this. I also acknowledge I have, while arguing with women, not always checked the rage, thinking to myself: there is not need to be so emotional about an intellectual debate.
At the time, I justified these reactions as responding to historic and cultural ideas surrounding race, when in fact this showed a remarkable failure in my own gender politics. Gender oppression transcends race, and in many ways is amplified by it. Tone of voice, physical stance, and positioning can all lead to feelings of fear and concern in women when confronted with men -in my experience.
I would love, however, the thoughts of those out there on how as cis male I can better check myself during discussions with women to avoid this.